Woops

I seem to be failing miserably at keeping up my blogging, but I'm living life, so that's a good trade-off.

Nothing new to report. I'm still working on getting my house in tip-top shape. Still trying to get myself in better shape. Slow progress, but progress nonetheless.

I've been spending a lot of time soul-searching. No huge epiphanies yet, but maybe soon.

And I still wish my laundry would do itself.



I am a great procrastinator. When the writing is going really well, the laundry piles up.
-Dana Spiotta-

Saturday Six

Six Things I Like About Myself
(in no particular order)

• My hair. It took me a long time to love the color of my hair, but I do now. And it's the best hair in the whole world because it cooperates with pretty much anything I ask it to do!
• I am a good writer. It may take a few dozen drafts to make it shine, but it's always good enough to keep working on it.
• I'm funny. No seriously, I'm freaking hilarious.
• I'm smart. There are huge gaps in my knowledge, of course, but I have an insatiable desire to learn. I'm always looking for the next thing I want to learn about.
• I'm a good mom. Maybe not every second of every day, but I am always trying to be the best mom for my boys.
• My friends are amazing. And I have to believe that has at least a little bit to do with me. 

You Happy?

No, my darling neglected blog, I have not forgotten you. June has just been a month so full of happenings I haven't had  much time to blog. My "real" writing is going well, however, because I'm keeping a notebook on my person at all time.

That's been the best part of this month so far, focusing again on my writing and making it a priority. I am still trying to figure out how to balance everything. It's so much harder than I realized. The problem is that if I don't make time for myself and the things that are important to me that no one else will. I'm a better mom when I'm doing my own work too.

Recently my three-year-old has started asking me a thought-provoking question:

"You happy, Mama?"

It's a question that always stops me a little short. In theory, I am but in actuality I feel restless and discontent. There isn't enough time, I keep lamenting, to do all the things I need or want to do.

In better news, my continued quest to get my home in order is going really well, although it is currently a complete and total mess - but that's life when you have kids!

June: A Good Person Takes Care of Herself

The month of June is meant to help me become a better person by taking care of myself. To be honest, I don't really know what this entails.

WARNING: This blog is negative.

So what do I do to take care of myself? I need to lose weight, obviously. I need to take time for my art and my writing. It would be nice to pamper myself a little bit.

Here's the thing - I am not a huge fan of myself right now. It recently came to my attention that I am virtually unemployable. I worked hard on my career and education before I had kids, but I've been out of the workforce for so long that I no longer have viable references; there is no one to write me a letter of recommendation; I have no legitimate work experience for the last 6 years.

I know that being a mom is important, but being a stay at home mom was never my dream. I hate not contributing to my family financially. I hate not having an identity outside of being a mama to my boys. And while that is a great and good thing, it is not 100% fulfilling.

So this month will be me figuring out what I need and how to provide it for myself. (While still continuing to take care of my home, of course.)