Monday, June 23, 2014


I seem to be failing miserably at keeping up my blogging, but I'm living life, so that's a good trade-off.

Nothing new to report. I'm still working on getting my house in tip-top shape. Still trying to get myself in better shape. Slow progress, but progress nonetheless.

I've been spending a lot of time soul-searching. No huge epiphanies yet, but maybe soon.

And I still wish my laundry would do itself.

I am a great procrastinator. When the writing is going really well, the laundry piles up.
-Dana Spiotta-

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Saturday Six

Six Things I Like About Myself
(in no particular order)

  • My hair. It took me a long time to love the color of my hair, but I do now. And it's the best hair in the whole world because it cooperates with pretty much anything I ask it to do!
  • I am a good writer. It may take a few dozen drafts to make it shine, but it's always good enough to keep working on it.
  • I'm funny. No seriously, I'm freaking hilarious.
  • I'm smart. There are huge gaps in my knowledge, of course, but I have an insatiable desire to learn. I'm always looking for the next thing I want to learn about.
  • I'm a good mom. Maybe not every second of every day, but I am always trying to be the best mom for my boys.
  • My friends are amazing. And I have to believe that has at least a little bit to do with me. 

Thursday, June 12, 2014

You Happy?

No, my darling neglected blog, I have not forgotten you. June has just been a month so full of happenings I haven't had  much time to blog. My "real" writing is going well, however, because I'm keeping a notebook on my person at all time.

That's been the best part of this month so far, focusing again on my writing and making it a priority. I am still trying to figure out how to balance everything. It's so much harder than I realized. The problem is that if I don't make time for myself and the things that are important to me that no one else will. I'm a better mom when I'm doing my own work too.

Recently my three-year-old has started asking me a thought-provoking question:

"You happy, Mama?"

It's a question that always stops me a little short. In theory, I am but in actuality I feel restless and discontent. There isn't enough time, I keep lamenting, to do all the things I need or want to do.

In better news, my continued quest to get my home in order is going really well, although it is currently a complete and total mess - but that's life when you have kids!

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

June: A Good Person Takes Care of Herself

The month of June is meant to help me become a better person by taking care of myself. To be honest, I don't really know what this entails.

WARNING: This blog is negative.

So what do I do to take care of myself? I need to lose weight, obviously. I need to take time for my art and my writing. It would be nice to pamper myself a little bit.

Here's the thing - I am not a huge fan of myself right now. It recently came to my attention that I am virtually unemployable. I worked hard on my career and education before I had kids, but I've been out of the workforce for so long that I no longer have viable references; there is no one to write me a letter of recommendation; I have no legitimate work experience for the last 6 years.

I know that being a mom is important, but being a stay at home mom was never my dream. I hate not contributing to my family financially. I hate not having an identity outside of being a mama to my boys. And while that is a great and good thing, it is not 100% fulfilling.

So this month will be me figuring out what I need and how to provide it for myself. (While still continuing to take care of my home, of course.)

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Big Fat Yikes, Emphasis on the Fat

So the whole Taking Care of My Home thing is going really well. My house is still a mess 50% of the time, but it feels like it's more manageable to clean and organize. I have a few projects that, when they're finished, will make life even better, so that's exciting.

I hope you don't mind, then, if I jump ahead to June's chosen theme: A Good Person Takes Care of Herelf. Since about November I've been noticing my weight more and more. At first it didn't bother me, I have no hang-ups about being chubby.

The last few weeks, however, I've noticed that it's started to get in the way of fun. I get winded, tired, and sweaty WAY easier than I should. Even my "chubby" clothes are starting to get a little too tight. I feel gross.

I am a huge advocate for being happy in your own skin. That being said, I think everyone has a certain weight where they are the most comfortable. I have now passed my "weight comfort zone."

I don't put a lot of stock in scales, but I thought I would weigh myself today, just for fun. I tipped the scales at 190. That is, by far, the heaviest I have ever been. When I weighed myself in October I was at 170. Those extra 20 lbs are making me miserable.

Losing weight is hard. Exercising sucks. But I am 31 years old and I should be able to chase my kids up the stairs without having to stop halfway up for a rest.

Tonight I am going to an adult ballet class. It's been 10 years and 2 pregnancies since I last danced, but I love dancing and I'm hoping that I'll enjoy it enough to keep at it. I think that's the key to exercising - find something you love or that you're good at.

On the eating better side of things, I am still coming up with a plan. TO THE LIBRARY!

Please note: Any tips on getting healthy are more than welcome!

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Temper Your Expectations

I hope you weren't expecting me to blog every day. That is just not going to happen. Life is too busy and I'm too disorganized. Maybe as I become a better person I will be more organized and blog more.

But probably not.

It is remarkable how easily and insensibly we fall into a particular route, and make a beaten track for ourselves. -Henry David Thoreau-

Monday, May 12, 2014

Can I Get a What-What?!

I am still on the quest to get my kitchen as clutter-free and easy-to-clean as possible. I have now found two things to help me in that journey! One is an awesome bread box/cutting board combo that I scored for $9. The other is a work-in-progress that I will reveal in pictures as I go about each step.

My husband and I, darling that he is, decided that the dishes are now his responsibility. I gave him the choice of doing the dishes or doing our two boys' laundry. He chose dishes. That has made the attitude at our house the last 10 days or so 100 times better! I've stopped feeling quite so overwhelmed and he doesn't get annoyed by dishes in the sink.

Seriously, delegation is awesome.

The funny thing is, my husband didn't even realize I was overwhelmed. I assumed he knew; he assumed everything was fine. It wasn't until I actually told him that we both realized things needed to change. Communication for the win!

Sorry for the excessive use of exclamation points, it's just that this project of mine to become a better person is actually working. It's slow and the progress feels infinitesimal at times, but it's been worth it.

Onward, ho!